Main excited tha par dara hua bhi tha .maine pehle ghar ke door par kan laga kar ander ki awaz sunne ki koshish ki par koi bhi awaaz nahi aai . Jab main sure ho gaya ki gate ke aas paas koi nahi hai tab dheere se maine apni key se lock open kiya aur bina awaaz kiye ander gaya .maine sabse pehle drawing room me jakar dekha par wahan koi nahi tha , phir kitchen me dekha par wahan bhi koi nahi mila . Now I ws sure ki vo log zaroor bedroom me hai . Phir main bedroom ke door ke paas gaya to mujhe halki si awaaze aane lagi . Maine jaldi se bedroom ke keyhole me se ander dekha.Ander dekhte hi mere hosh ud gaye mom aur boss dono ander bed par the. Boss ne sirf underwear pehna tha par mom ne saree pehni hui thi . Maine man me kaha ki ya to sab kuch ho chukka hai ya abhi shuru hi hua hai . Mera shaq sahi tha abhi vo shuru hi hue the . Vo log bate kar rahe the aur halki fulki Kissing bhi kar rahe the . Main bhot excited ho raha tha kyoki aaj mujhe vo dekhne ko mil raha tha jo maine kabhi socha. She really was gorgeous, and she had a fun personality. And certainly, after my talks with Becky, Dale, and most importantly, Janey, and what I’d been doing with Sandy and Sophia, my stated views on ‘casual sex’ simply didn’t hold water.I WAS having casual sex with Sandy, Sophia, and now Janey. There was no commitment of any kind, and no assumptions about the future. In fact, with Sophia she had explicitly rejected them, and Sandy was likely to do the same when we talked after I went back to McKinley. It dawned on me that I was, in effect, lying to myself about what I was doing. Either I didn’t have the courage of my convictions, or my convictions were something other than I’d thought they were.Part of the problem, in fact perhaps the entire problem, was that I was totally unsure of myself with regard to ANYTHING, except for wanting to be a doctor. That was true even about my singing, which everyone seemed to love, but which I didn’t want to do in public. Why? Perhaps if I figured.
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